Session 34: How to be Dads with Compassion

Dads Who Feel It, Then Cross the Road

Series: Close the Gap (Week 2) [YouTube series link: Close the Gap | Sermon Series]]

Sermon: Don’t Pinch Away the Pain [YouTube sermon link: https://www.youtube.com/live/evQwcrOtrng]

Preached: Sunday, November 8, 2026

Pastor: Josh Jamison, Eastridge Church

Main Passage: Luke 10:25–37 (the Parable of the Good Samaritan)

Session Length: 60–75 minutes

🎯 SESSION BIG IDEA

You are surrounded by hurt: in the news, in your neighborhood, and in your own home. If you keep scrolling past it, or pinching it away so you don’t have to feel it, you’ll miss the very people God put in your path. Compassion is a God-given feeling meant to move you into action, and the dads who let it move them will close the gap between their kids’ pain and the hope they need.

📖 KEY SCRIPTURE

Luke 10:33–34 (NLT) “Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him.” https://www.bible.com/bible/116/LUK.10.33-34.NLT

Luke 10:36–37 (NLT) “‘Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?’ Jesus asked. The man replied, ‘The one who showed him mercy.’ Then Jesus said, ‘Yes, now go and do the same.'” https://www.bible.com/bible/116/LUK.10.36-37.NLT

Romans 5:8 (NLT) “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” https://www.bible.com/bible/116/ROM.5.8.NLT

💬 ICEBREAKER / WELCOME (10 minutes)

Start by welcoming everyone, especially anyone new. Then pick two or three of these. Keep it light and let the laughs happen.

What’s the most embarrassing thing that has ever made you tear up? A movie, a song, a commercial, a kid’s recital. Bonus points if you tell us your go-to move for hiding it.

When you’re running late, what’s the one thing that drives you crazy? The slow driver in front of you, the red light, the kid who can’t find their shoes?

Think of a time someone stopped to help you when you really needed it. It could be a stranger, a friend, or a family member. What did they do, and how did it make you feel?

Leader tip: Question 3 is your bridge into the sermon. Let it breathe a little before you move on.

✝️ SERMON CONTEXT (Leader Summary)

Read this aloud or put it in your own words to get the group oriented. About 4 minutes.

Eastridge just started a new series called Close the Gap. The gap is the distance between the hurt and pain in the world around us and the hope and healing found in Jesus. The church’s job is to close that distance. Last week Pastor Andy launched the series in Luke 10, the story of the Good Samaritan. (If your group did Session 13 earlier this year, this is the same parable from another angle: Good Samaritan Lesson for Dads: How to Be the Neighbor, https://bethedads.com/2026/04/good-samaritan-lesson-for-dads-how-to-be-the-neighbor/). In the story, a man is beaten by bandits and left half dead on the Jericho road. A priest sees him and crosses to the other side. A temple assistant does the same. Then a despised Samaritan, someone the injured man’s people would have considered an enemy, stops and helps.

Pastor Josh opened with a confession: he’s a deep feeler. Movies get him, even animated ones. He has found one way to stop the tears: when that first wave of mistiness hits, he pinches his thigh as hard as he can. The pain snaps him out of the feeling. Then he made it bigger. Our whole culture is doing the same thing. Psychologists have names for it: psychic numbing, compassion fade, empathy fatigue. We know more about suffering than any generation in history, but our phones swing us from a war to a natural disaster to a video of someone’s dog doing something silly in a matter of seconds. We’re training our brains to see pain and move on without feeling it. That’s the danger, because it makes us the priest and the temple assistant: people who see but don’t feel.

The dividing line Jesus draws in the story is not who knew more, who had more religion, or who was more qualified. It’s one thing: the Samaritan “felt compassion.” The word Jesus uses is a gut-level word, a feeling in the deepest part of you. But feelings are not an end in themselves. You feel hungry so you’ll eat. You’re meant to feel compassion so you’ll act. Compassion with no action is a dead-end road. Pastor Josh then named three things the Samaritan’s compassion was greater than: his comfort (the road was dangerous), his calendar (a famous Princeton experiment showed that being in a hurry mattered far more than knowing the parable), and his competencies (he wasn’t a doctor, but he was available).

Then came the turn. Before you can see yourself as the Samaritan, you have to see yourself as the man on the side of the road. Every one of us has chosen our own way over God’s way, and that brings pain, separation, and death. Religion couldn’t save that man (the priest), and good works couldn’t either (the temple assistant). Jesus came from an unexpected place, closed the gap between heaven and earth, took our sin on the cross, and offers forgiveness and a fresh start. After he shows us mercy, he says to us: “Now go and do the same.” Pastor Josh’s closing plea: please don’t pinch away those feelings any longer.

🛠 KEY POINTS

Key Point 1: Real compassion is greater than your comfort.

Supporting Scripture: Ezekiel 36:26 (NLT)

“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.” https://www.bible.com/bible/116/EZK.36.26.NLT

The Jericho road was known for ambushes. Stopping meant risk, and the Samaritan could have listed plenty of reasonable excuses. He crossed the road anyway. A me-first world hardens our hearts a little at a time, like clay left out in the sun. That’s why Pastor Josh urged us to pray every day: God, soften my heart and give me eyes to see. (Notice who does the softening. It isn’t you gritting your teeth and trying harder. It’s God giving a tender heart.)

Dad Application: Compassion will cost you comfort at home first. It’s easier to stay on your side of the road when your teenager is shut down, when your wife or co-parent is hurting and you don’t know why, or when your kid is struggling and you’d rather not get pulled into it. Crossing the road means stepping into the messy middle of their world, asking the real question, and staying for the answer. Your kids won’t remember your best advice. They’ll remember whether you came over. And if you’ve been guarding your heart so long you can barely feel anything, start by asking God for the tender heart he promised. Then take one small step toward the person in front of you, before the feeling shows up.

Related reading: Love your neighbor as yourself. https://bethedads.com/2023/05/only-one-thing-to-do-love-your-neighbor-as-yourself/

Key Point 2: Real compassion is greater than your calendar.

Supporting Scripture: Ephesians 5:15–16 (NLT)

“So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.” https://www.bible.com/bible/116/EPH.5.15-16.NLT

The experiment Pastor Josh described sent students across campus to give a talk. Some were told they had plenty of time; others were told they were late. Along the way, they passed a man slumped in pain. Roughly six in ten of those with time stopped. Only about one in ten of those told they were running late did. It made no difference whether they’d been studying the Good Samaritan parable. Knowing the right thing wasn’t enough. Hurry won. A packed schedule doesn’t just make us tired; it makes us blind to the needs right in front of us.

Dad Application: If “hurry up, we’re late” is the most common sentence your kids hear from you, this one is for you. A child’s real hurts rarely show up on schedule. They come out in the car ride, at bedtime, or in the five minutes after practice, but only if you’re not already rushing to the next thing. Margin is not laziness. It’s the space where you notice your kid’s face, your wife’s tired eyes, or the neighbor who has been carrying something heavy. You may need to cancel something good to make room for something that matters. Start small: leave ten minutes early this week, and see who you notice.

Related reading: Love Slows Down. https://bethedads.com/2022/05/love-slows-down-day-7/

Key Point 3: Real compassion is greater than your competencies.

Supporting Scripture: Romans 12:15 (NLT)

“Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.” https://www.bible.com/bible/116/ROM.12.15.NLT

The Samaritan wasn’t a doctor. He didn’t have a plan or a title, but he was there, and he cared. Pastor Josh called this the ministry of presence: simply showing up and staying. The man in the ditch wasn’t checking credentials. He needed whoever was available. Sometimes the best thing you can say is nothing, because in our rush to make someone feel better, we say things that aren’t even true or that don’t line up with God’s heart. Sometimes the best thing you can do is cook a meal, pour a cup of coffee, and listen.

Dad Application: Many dads avoid hurting people because we feel unqualified. We can’t fix the heartbreak, the diagnosis, the friendship that fell apart, the grief. So we give a quick answer or we go quiet and leave the room. Your kids and your wife (or co-parent) aren’t asking you to fix it. They’re asking, “Are you with me?” Sit on the edge of the bed. Put your phone in another room. Say, “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here.” That sentence, spoken by a dad who then stays, is worth more than a wise speech. And if your time with your kids is limited by custody or distance, presence still counts: a full-attention phone call or video chat can say I’m with you across the miles.

Key Point 4: Before you’re the helper, you’re the one who was helped.

Supporting Scripture: Romans 3:23 (NLT)

“For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.” https://www.bible.com/bible/116/ROM.3.23.NLT

Pastor Josh pointed out that the story is first about what Jesus does for you, and only then about what you do for others. We’re all the man on the side of the road: beaten up by sin, which simply means choosing our way over God’s way. Religion couldn’t rescue us and neither could our good works. Jesus crossed the gap between heaven and earth, took our sin on himself at the cross, and gives forgiveness and a fresh start to anyone who opens their heart to him (Romans 5:8, above). We love and serve because we have been loved and served, not to earn anything.

Dad Application: A lot of dads hear a sermon like this and walk away with one more thing to try harder at: I need to be more compassionate, I need to notice more, I need to be more available. That’s exactly the wrong takeaway. You’ll fail at this, because you’re not the hero of this story. You’re the one Jesus stopped for. That frees you to admit when you walked past your kid yesterday and to say, “I’m sorry, I missed that. Can we try again?” It also gives you something to pass on that’s bigger than good behavior. Your kids don’t just need a dad who is kind. They need a dad who knows he has been rescued and who points them to the One who did it.

💬 DISCUSSION QUESTIONS (20–25 minutes)

You don’t have to hit every question. Pick the ones that fit your group and let the conversation breathe. The questions move from the text, to the heart, to real life.

Opening the Text

1. Read Luke 10:30–35 aloud. Three different men see the same injured man on the road. What does each one do, and what’s the one thing Luke says about the Samaritan that he doesn’t say about the other two?

Starting Thought: Look at verse 33: “when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him.” The priest and the temple assistant saw him too. The difference wasn’t what they saw. It was what they felt, and what that feeling moved them to do.

2. In Luke 10:33–35, the Samaritan goes over to the man, treats his wounds, carries him on his donkey, pays for his stay, and promises to come back. Make a list of what it cost him. What did he give up?

Starting Thought: Think time, money, comfort, and safety. This was a road known for ambushes, so stopping carried real risk. Compassion in this story is not a warm feeling. It’s expensive.

3. In Luke 10:29, an expert in religious law asks Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?” In verse 36, Jesus ends the story with a different question: “Which of these three was a neighbor?” How did Jesus change the question, and why does it matter?

Starting Thought: The first question asks, “Who qualifies for my help?” Jesus’ question asks, “Who will actually act like a neighbor?” One question lets you off the hook. The other doesn’t.

Dad Life Discussion

4. Think about the last time you saw news or a post about someone’s suffering, whether far away or in your own circle. What did you do with the feeling: feel it, push it down, or keep scrolling? What were you taught growing up about what a man does with his feelings?

Starting Thought: Pastor Josh pinches his leg at movies to stop himself from tearing up. Many of us have our own version of the pinch: a joke, a change of subject, work, or the phone. Be honest about yours. There’s no judgment in this room.

5. When has your own comfort or self-protection kept you on the other side of the road with a neighbor, a coworker, a friend, or someone in your own family? What were you afraid of?

Starting Thought: It’s rarely a lack of care. It’s usually a fear of getting pulled in, being awkward, being inconvenienced, or not knowing what to do. Name the fear out loud and you’ve taken the first step.

6. If you had 30 more minutes of real margin in your day, what would change for your kids, your marriage or co-parenting relationship, or your friendships? What would you need to say no to in order to get it?

Starting Thought: Margin is the gap between your schedule and your limits. Without it, even good dads become people who walk right past a hurting kid because they have somewhere to be. Think about the last time you missed something because you were rushing.

7. When someone you love is hurting, what’s your default: fix it, lecture, go quiet, or just be there? What would it look like to simply be present with that person this week?

Starting Thought: Most of us want to solve it. But often the best thing is to sit down, shut up, and listen. If you tend to pull away because you feel unqualified, remember: the Samaritan wasn’t a doctor either. He was available.

8. Pastor Josh said we’re all the man on the side of the road before we’re ever the Samaritan. Where in your life right now do you feel beaten up, stuck, or in need of someone to stop for you?

Starting Thought: Dads are often better at being the helper than being helped. Real strength includes admitting you need rescue, from God and from the guys sitting around this table. Let the leader go first, and keep it simple.

🎯 KEY TAKEAWAYS

Feelings Are Fuel, Not the Destination — God didn’t give you compassion so you could feel sorry for people and move on. He gave it to move you toward them. When you pinch it away or scroll past it, you’re turning off the thing meant to move you to act. Let yourself feel it, then let it take you somewhere.

Margin Makes Mercy Possible — A hurried dad will walk past the very things God puts in his path. You can know all the right answers and still miss the moment. Leaving room in your day is not a luxury; it’s what makes it possible to notice and respond.

Availability Beats Ability — You don’t have to be an expert to be a neighbor. Your kids, your wife or co-parent, and your friends are not waiting on your perfect words. They’re waiting for your presence. Show up, stay, and listen. That is often the whole job.

You Were the Man on the Side of the Road First — You don’t serve to earn anything. You serve because Jesus stopped, crossed the gap, and carried you. That truth keeps you humble when you fail and steady when you succeed. Let the mercy you’ve received shape the mercy you give.

🛠 PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS (15 minutes)

Have each dad choose one or two and say out loud which ones he’s committing to this week.

Take the 60-second pause. This week, when a hard story hits your phone or your heart (a news item, a friend’s diagnosis, a coworker’s rough day), don’t scroll on. Stop for one minute. Name what you’re feeling. Pray one sentence: “God, what do you want me to do with this?” Then pick one concrete step: pray for them, send a text, make a call, give, or show up.

Build in a ten-minute buffer. Pick one daily routine (the school drop-off, the commute, your morning) and leave ten minutes earlier every day this week. Don’t fill the gap with your phone. Use it to look around, say hello, and notice who’s in front of you.

Involve your kids in a way you can see together. Eastridge is hosting a Grocery and Toy Giveaway on November 21, turning the worship center into a grocery store for families in need. Pastor Josh said hundreds of volunteers are needed and families are welcome to serve. Use the NFC tag on the chair back or the upcoming events page to sign up, and bring your kids with you. If your schedule, custody arrangement, or kids’ ages make that tough, do something smaller together: bake and deliver a meal to a neighbor or have your kids help pick out groceries for someone in need. (More on dads serving alongside their kids: Dads Who Serve: Lead with Love at Home and Beyond -#4, https://bethedads.com/2025/07/dads-who-serve-lead-with-love-at-home-and-beyond-4/)

Give the people you love 15 minutes of presence. If you’re married: set aside 15 minutes with your phone out of the room and ask your wife, “How are you really doing? What can I do for you?” Then listen without fixing, defending, or giving advice. If you’re divorced, widowed, or co-parenting: offer the same kind of presence to the nearest person in your circle, such as a close friend, a family member, or your kids’ other parent in a respectful conversation focused on the kids. Ask, “How are you doing with all of this? How can I help?”

Start each day with a three-sentence prayer. Pray the words Pastor Josh gave us: “Holy Spirit, give me your eyes to see today. God, give me your heart so I feel deeply for the people around me. Don’t let my heart get hardened.” Say it in the car, in the shower, or before you open your phone. And if you’ve never asked Jesus to forgive you and give you a fresh start, today is a good day to tell him that. Talk to your group leader or a friend in this room if you want help.

🎯 DAD CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK

The Un-Pinch Challenge

What it is: For the next seven days, every time you feel a pang of compassion, sadness, or sympathy (for a story, for a person, for your own kid), don’t pinch it away. Don’t scroll, joke, or change the subject. Let yourself feel it for one minute. Then do one small thing about it. At least once this week, tell your kids about it.

Why it matters: Your kids are learning what to do with their feelings by watching what you do with yours. If they see you shut down every time something hard comes along, they’ll learn to do the same. If they see you feel it, pray, and act, they’ll learn that compassion is strong, not weak. This is especially true for sons, who are often told that men don’t show emotion. You can quietly show them there’s another way.

A simple script (dinner or bedtime):

“Hey buddy, I want to tell you something. This week I saw [or heard about] something that made me really sad. [Short, age-appropriate example: a family who lost their home, a friend who’s sick, a kid who was left out.] I noticed I almost scrolled past it, but I didn’t want to. It made me feel [sad / sorry / upset]. Have you ever felt that way? What do you think we could do to help?”

If your child is the one hurting:

“I’m not going to try to fix it right now. I’m just going to sit here with you. I’m not going anywhere.”

Then stay. Even if they don’t say anything.

🙏 CLOSING PRAYER

Leader, invite the group to bow their heads, and read this slowly.

Father, thank you for stopping for us when we were beaten up and unable to save ourselves. Thank you for Jesus, who crossed the gap between heaven and earth, carried our sin, and gave us a fresh start. Soften our hearts and open our eyes. Don’t let us scroll past the people you’ve put in front of us, or numb the feelings you gave us to move us toward them. Give us margin to notice, courage to cross the road, and the humility to simply be there when we don’t have the answers. We ask you to bless these dads and their families: wives, kids, co-parents, and everyone who calls them Dad. May they know they are loved, and may your mercy flow through them to everyone they meet this week. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

📋 LEADER NOTES

Key Themes to Emphasize

Compassion is meant to move you. The feeling is the starting line, not the finish line.

Don’t numb it. The pinch, the scroll, the joke, and the busyness are all ways we avoid feeling.

Comfort, calendar, competencies. Three common reasons we stay on our side of the road, and all three are fixable.

Grace before action. Keep coming back to this: we are the man on the side of the road first. The call to “go and do the same” comes after we’ve received mercy, not in place of it. Watch that the conversation doesn’t drift into “try harder” or guilt.

What to Watch For

Dads who were taught to stuff their feelings. Opening up may feel risky for some. Go first yourself, keep it low-pressure, and never put someone on the spot.

Guilt and shame. Pastor Josh asked how many divine moments he’s missed. Some dads will think of times they missed their own kid’s hurt. Let that conviction lead to grace and a fresh start, not shame.

Dads whose kids are far away, estranged, or hurting deeply. “Crossing the road” may not be simple for them. Affirm small, faithful steps, and don’t offer quick fixes.

Grief and loss. Compassion talk can bring up stories of loss. Leave space, and don’t rush to fill silence. (This is the ministry of presence in action.)

Wisdom and safety. The Samaritan took a risk, but wisdom still matters. Don’t encourage dads to put themselves or their kids in unsafe situations. Serving through organized church events, like the Grocery and Toy Giveaway, is a great way to practice compassion safely.

Dads who aren’t sure about faith. The sermon included an invitation to receive Jesus. If someone in your group is new or curious, check in with him privately and kindly after the session.

Timing Guide

Church Connection Points (from the sermon)

November 21: Grocery and Toy Giveaway. Eastridge turns the worship center into a grocery store for families in need and gives away winter coats and Christmas toys. Sign up to volunteer using the NFC tag on the chair back or the upcoming events page.

November 22: One Day to Feed the World. Eastridge is partnering with Convoy of Hope. The church goal is $300,000, with a generous family matching up to $100,000. Pastor Josh invited everyone to prayerfully consider taking part, so mention it lightly and avoid any pressure.

Fact-Check Note

Pastor Josh described the “Good Samaritan Experiment” as a Princeton University study. As far as I know, the original 1973 study (Darley and Batson) used students at Princeton Theological Seminary, and the original figures were about 63% stopping when they had time, about 45% when on schedule, and about 10% when late. The numbers in this guide match the point he made. Verify the details if you want to cite it precisely.

Reminder

God doesn’t require perfect dads — He uses faithful ones.

📋 SCRIPTURE REFERENCE TABLE