Session 31 — Don’t Eat the Muffins: Dads Who Let God’s Blessings Flow Through Them

Blessings are meant to be shared, not stored up. In this session, you’ll learn how to stop hoarding God’s blessings and start passing them on to your kids, your wife or co-parent, and the people God puts in your path. Drawing on Pastor Josh Jamison’s sermon “Don’t Eat the Muffins,” this small group guide for dads walks through the story of David and Mephibosheth in 2 Samuel.

Catch up on the series (previous BeTheDads sessions):

✝️ Session Big Idea: God’s Blessings Flow Through You

God has been good to you, and the good things He has put in your hands (your job, your home, your time, your wisdom, your kids) were never meant to end with you. You are not a consumer of God’s blessings. You are a steward of them, someone trusted to pass them on. The dads who change a family, a team, and a neighborhood are the ones who wake up asking, “Who can I show kindness to today?”

📖 Key Scripture on God’s Blessings

“And David realized that the LORD had confirmed him as king over Israel and had blessed his kingdom for the sake of his people Israel.”

— 2 Samuel 5:12 (NLT) https://www.bible.com/bible/116/2SA.5.12.NLT

“One day David asked, ‘Is anyone in Saul’s family still alive—anyone to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?'”

— 2 Samuel 9:1 (NLT) https://www.bible.com/bible/116/2SA.9.1.NLT

“‘Don’t be afraid!’ David said. ‘I intend to show kindness to you because of my promise to your father, Jonathan. I will give you all the property that once belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will eat here with me at the king’s table!'”

— 2 Samuel 9:7 (NLT) https://www.bible.com/bible/116/2SA.9.7.NLT

💬 Icebreaker / Welcome (10 minutes)

  1. The fun one: What’s the best thing you’ve ever snuck out of the kitchen that wasn’t meant for you? Did you get caught?
  2. The warm-up: What’s one good thing in your life this week, big or small, that you’re thankful for?
  3. The bridge: When one of God’s blessings lands in your lap (a bonus, a free Saturday, a day off), what’s your first instinct: enjoy it, save it, or share it?

Leader: Keep this light and quick. Let the muffin stories run a minute, because laughing together makes the honest questions later easier.

📖 Sermon Context (Leader Summary)

Read this aloud or put it in your own words to orient the group.

Over the past several weeks, Pastor Josh has walked through the life of David: the shepherd boy in the pasture, the young man who faced Goliath because his eyes were on God and not the giant, the man who was betrayed by King Saul and had to guard his heart against bitterness, and the man who spent hard seasons hiding in caves. This week the story reaches the palace. Saul and his son Jonathan (David’s best friend) are both killed in battle. After a few years of a divided nation, David is finally crowned king over all of Israel. He has the throne, the crown, and a palace. Everything he has dreamed about since he was a boy in the pasture is now his.

Pastor Josh opened with a story from his own kitchen. His wife, Carrie, had volunteered to bring snacks all week for Teacher Appreciation Week at their kids’ school. When he got home, there was a basket of fresh-baked muffins on the counter. His logic seemed sound: food on my counter means food for me. He ate two. That night, Carrie discovered she was two muffins short, because she had baked exactly one for every teacher. The point: we often assume every good thing God brings into our lives is for us to consume. But God’s blessings are meant to flow through you, not just to you.

Then he pointed to one verse. Once David was settled in his palace, 2 Samuel 5:12 says he “realized” why God had done all of it: the anointing, the Goliath victory, the protection in the caves, the throne. It was never only for David. It was for the sake of God’s people. From there, Pastor Josh gave us a lens: you are not a consumer of God’s blessings; you are a steward of them. A steward is someone trusted to manage something that belongs to someone else. In 2 Samuel 9, we see David live it out. Instead of asking, “How can I enjoy this?” he asks, “Is there anyone I can show kindness to?” He finds Mephibosheth, Jonathan’s son, who has been disabled since childhood (a nurse dropped him while fleeing after Saul and Jonathan died) and who is probably terrified, since new kings normally eliminated the old king’s family. David’s first words are “Don’t be afraid.” He then restores everything the family lost and gives Mephibosheth a permanent seat at the king’s table, “like one of the king’s own sons.”

Pastor Josh made two more points along the way. First, you don’t have to be living in the palace to start. Kindness isn’t measured by means; it’s measured by willingness and obedience. Second, this story is a picture of the gospel. We were crippled by sin and could never get ourselves to God’s table, so God sent Jesus to carry us there, not just to forgive us but to welcome us into His family. He closed by inviting anyone who felt far from God to take a first step, and anyone who sensed God showing them a specific person to bless this week to respond.

✝️ Key Points: Stewarding God’s Blessings as a Dad

1. God’s blessings in your hands were never only for you.

Scripture: 2 Samuel 5:12 — “And David realized that the LORD had confirmed him as king over Israel and had blessed his kingdom for the sake of his people Israel.” https://www.bible.com/bible/116/2SA.5.12.NLT

Supporting: Genesis 12:2 — “I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others.” https://www.bible.com/bible/116/GEN.12.2.NLT

God blessed David, and David truly benefited. But the reason for the blessing was bigger than David. The same pattern runs through the whole Bible: God blesses people so they can be a blessing.

Dad Application: Walk through your house and picture your “kitchen counter”: your paycheck, your health, your hard-earned wisdom, your free time, your kids. It’s easy to assume all of it is yours to use up. Your kids learn more from how you handle good things than from anything you say about them. A dad who treats every blessing as his own raises kids who feel entitled, and a dad who asks “who is this for?” raises kids who learn gratitude and generosity. This isn’t about guilt or earning God’s favor. It’s about seeing your life accurately.

2. You are a steward, not a consumer.

Scripture: 1 Peter 4:10 — “God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.” https://www.bible.com/bible/116/1PE.4.10.NLT

A consumer asks, “What can I get out of this?” A steward (someone entrusted with something that belongs to another) asks, “What does the Owner want done with this?” Pastor Josh applied that question to your job, your relationships, your money, and your influence.

Dad Application: Take your own work as an example. Is it only the thing that pays for your life, or is it also one of God’s blessings, a place where God has put you in front of people who need encouragement? Now take it closer to home. Your kids are not yours to consume either, whether as trophies, as a way to relive your glory days, or as a reason to feel like a success. They were entrusted to you. When you see your wife (or your kids’ mom, if you’re co-parenting) as someone you’re called to steward and serve instead of someone who exists to meet your needs, the whole house changes.

3. Start the day with a better question.

Scripture: 2 Samuel 9:1 — “One day David asked, ‘Is anyone in Saul’s family still alive—anyone to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?'” https://www.bible.com/bible/116/2SA.9.1.NLT

Sitting in a brand-new palace, David’s question wasn’t “What can I enjoy?” but “Who can I bless?” Pastor Josh asked what would change if that was the first thought in our heads on a Monday morning. He also spoke straight to anyone thinking, I’ll be generous when God blesses me more: you are more blessed than you realize, and kindness is measured by willingness and obedience, not by what’s in your bank account.

Dad Application: Many dads quietly believe they’ll start giving, serving, and leading when things settle down: when the job stabilizes, the marriage improves, the custody schedule makes sense, or the bills are paid. But you woke up today with breath in your lungs, clothes on your back, and the freedom to sit in a room like this without fear. Those blessings are more than a lot of the world has. Your kids don’t need you to be wealthy to show kindness. They need to watch you do small, willing, obedient things (a meal, a ride, a text, an invitation) while you’re still in the middle of your own mess.

4. Real kindness is extravagant, and it starts with “Don’t be afraid.”

Scripture: 2 Samuel 9:7 — “‘Don’t be afraid!’ David said. ‘I intend to show kindness to you because of my promise to your father, Jonathan. I will give you all the property that once belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will eat here with me at the king’s table!'” https://www.bible.com/bible/116/2SA.9.7.NLT

Supporting: 1 Samuel 20:14–15 — “And may you treat me with the faithful love of the LORD as long as I live. But if I die, treat my family with this faithful love, even when the LORD destroys all your enemies from the face of the earth.” https://www.bible.com/bible/116/1SA.20.14.NLT

David didn’t do the bare minimum. He calmed Mephibosheth’s fear, he restored what had been lost, and he gave him a place at the table. He was keeping a promise to his friend Jonathan, a father who asked someone he trusted to look after his family.

Dad Application: Mephibosheth lost his father when he was a small boy, and he lived with the results of someone else’s failure for the rest of his life. You probably know a kid like that: a teammate, a classmate, a neighbor’s son, maybe even one of your own children. Who could you be a “David” for, passing on the blessings God has given you? And when your own kid comes to you afraid after a failure, are your first words “Don’t be afraid”? If you’ve hurt your family through anger, absence, or distraction, extravagant kindness may mean owning it, apologizing without excuses, and trying to give back what was lost: your time, your attention, your presence.

5. You didn’t earn your seat at the table. You were carried there.

Scripture: 2 Samuel 9:8 — “Mephibosheth bowed respectfully and exclaimed, ‘Who is your servant, that you should show such kindness to a dead dog like me?'” https://www.bible.com/bible/116/2SA.9.8.NLT

2 Samuel 9:11 — “And from that time on, Mephibosheth ate regularly at David’s table, like one of the king’s own sons.” https://www.bible.com/bible/116/2SA.9.11.NLT

Supporting: John 3:16 — “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” https://www.bible.com/bible/116/JHN.3.16.NLT

Mephibosheth called himself a “dead dog,” which is about as low as a person can feel. David didn’t even acknowledge the label. He simply welcomed him as family. Pastor Josh called this a picture of what Jesus does for us: we were crippled by sin and couldn’t get ourselves to God, so God carried us in, forgave us, and adopted us as His children.

Dad Application: A lot of dads carry a label: failure, bad husband, absent father, divorced, unemployed, not enough. If that’s you, hear this: your seat at God’s table wasn’t earned, and it can’t be un-earned. That matters for your kids, too, because a dad who knows he’s loved by God is far safer to approach than a dad who is constantly trying to prove himself. You aren’t serving others to win a place at the table. You’re serving because you already have one, and you’re passing on God’s blessings out of what you’ve already received. If you’ve never taken that first step with Jesus, that invitation is open to you today.

💬 Discussion Questions (20–25 minutes)

These move from observation → conviction → application. Each question stands on its own, so a dad who missed the sermon can still jump in.

Opening the Text

1. Read 2 Samuel 5:9–12. David has finally “arrived”: a fortress, a growing kingdom, a palace built for him. According to verse 12, what did David realize about why God put him in that position?

Starting Thought: Notice the word “realized.” David had to open his eyes to see it. The blessing was real, and David did benefit from it, but God’s purpose was bigger than David’s comfort. What do you think it took for him to see that?

2. Read 2 Samuel 9:1. Ancient kings usually wiped out the family of the king they replaced. Instead, David asks whether there’s anyone left in Saul’s family he can show kindness to. What stands out to you about that question?

Starting Thought: David had a reason to be afraid of Saul’s family. Saul had hunted him for years. Also notice the phrase “for Jonathan’s sake.” David is honoring a promise to a friend, which is part of why he’s thinking about someone else’s family instead of his own comfort.

3. Read 2 Samuel 9:6–8, 11. Mephibosheth arrives frightened and calls himself a “dead dog.” What are the first things David says and does in response, and what seat does he give him?

Starting Thought: David’s first words are “Don’t be afraid.” Then comes restored land, and then a permanent place at the king’s table, “like one of the king’s own sons.” David doesn’t even argue with the “dead dog” label; he just treats Mephibosheth like family.

Dad Life Discussion

4. A pastor tells a story about eating two muffins on the kitchen counter that his wife had baked for his kids’ teachers. He assumed that food in his house meant food for him. Where in your life do you most tend to assume God’s blessings are “for me” (your free time, your paycheck, your skills, your attention)?

Starting Thought: Start with a light confession of your own to set the tone. Most of us don’t see it until someone says, “Wait, that was for someone else.” Encourage honesty, not guilt.

5. A “steward” is someone trusted to manage something that belongs to someone else. Pick one area (your job, your marriage or co-parenting relationship, your money, or your kids) and describe what it would look like to treat it as something entrusted to you instead of something you use up.

Starting Thought: If the group goes quiet, make it specific. “Instead of coming home and checking out, what would it look like to come home asking what my family needs from me tonight?” Or: “What would change if I saw my coworkers as people God placed in front of me instead of obstacles?”

6. Be honest: is there a “when” that you’re waiting for before you’ll be generous or serve other people (when the job stabilizes, when the marriage is better, when the kids are older, when money isn’t tight)? What is it, and what’s one small thing you could do right now anyway?

Starting Thought: The sermon’s point was that kindness isn’t measured by means but by willingness and obedience. Some dads in the room may truly feel they have little. Remind them (and yourself) of the small blessings already in hand: health, a roof, a seat in a room like this. A cup of coffee for someone counts.

7. Think about the people God has already put near you: a kid on your child’s team, a neighbor going through something hard, a coworker who needs a word of encouragement, a boy who doesn’t have a dad around. Who comes to mind, and what has kept you from reaching out?

Starting Thought: Don’t push anyone to share a name if they aren’t ready, but give people a moment to think it through. Common barriers: “I’m too busy,” “I don’t know what to say,” “They haven’t been that kind to me.” That last one matters, because Pastor Josh said God may place someone in your path who has never treated you well.

8. Mephibosheth saw himself as a “dead dog.” Many dads carry a label about themselves, such as “failure,” “absent dad,” “divorced,” or “not enough.” What’s the label you tend to wear, and what changes if you believe God carried you to His table before you ever earned it?

Starting Thought: This is the heaviest question, so go gently. Remind the group: you didn’t earn your seat, and you can’t lose it by failing. A dad who knows he’s loved can lead his family from security instead of performance. If anyone wants to talk privately afterward, make that easy.

🎯 Key Takeaways

Don’t Eat the Muffins — God’s blessings flow through you, not just to you. The good things in your life are real gifts, and you’re meant to enjoy them. But they were never meant to stop with you. Ask “Who is this for?” before you ask “How can I use this?”

Steward, Not Consumer — Everything you have is entrusted to you. Your job, your time, your money, your influence, your wisdom, and your kids all belong to God first. A steward asks what the Owner wants done with what He’s put in his hands, and that question can change how you show up at home.

Start with the Question — “Who can I show kindness to today?” David asked it from the palace; you can ask it from your kitchen table. You don’t need more resources before you start. Kindness is measured by willingness and obedience, not by how much you have.

Carried to the Table — Serve from grace, not for it. You didn’t earn your place with God, and you can’t lose it. Because you’ve been carried to the table and welcomed in as a son, you can extend the same welcome to your kids, your family, and the people God puts in your path.

🛠 Practical Applications (15 minutes)

Pair up and share which one you’ll do this week. Write it down.

  1. Pray a better Monday-morning prayer every day this week. As soon as you wake up, say: “God, You’ve been good to me. Who can I show kindness to today?” By Wednesday, write down at least one name that comes to mind.
  2. Do a 10-minute “muffin audit.” Write down five blessings God has given you (job, health, home, a skill, a friendship). Next to each one, write who it could flow toward. Pick one and take one concrete step by Sunday.
  3. Involve your kids directly. At dinner or bedtime, tell them the muffin story and ask: “What’s one good thing God gave you this week, and who could we share something good with?” Let them choose. Then do it together: bake something, pass along a toy, write a note, invite a friend over.
  4. Invest in your marriage or co-parenting relationship. If you’re married, ask your wife: “What’s one thing I could do this week to make your load lighter?” and then do it without being asked again. If you’re divorced or co-parenting, text your kids’ mom a specific, no-strings thank-you for something she does well for the kids. (If your situation is high-conflict, skip this and talk it over with a trusted brother in the group instead.)
  5. Act on the name within 48 hours. Whoever came to mind (a neighbor, a teammate’s dad, a coworker, a single mom you know, a boy without a father around), do one small, no-strings thing: a text, a meal, a ride, a coffee, an invitation to your table. Also consider thanking someone who has been a “David” to you.

🎯 Dad Challenge of the Week: The Open Seat Challenge

What it is: Before next week’s session, add one more seat to your table (literally) and invite someone to sit in it. It could be a kid’s friend, a neighbor, a coworker, a family who’s new in town, or someone who doesn’t have a table of their own. It can be dinner, a pizza night, a backyard cookout, or a coffee. Keep it simple.

Why it matters: David gave Mephibosheth a seat at his table, and that seat changed the way Mephibosheth saw himself. A table is where people feel they belong. When your kids see you make room for others, they learn that God’s blessings are meant to be shared. And that a family can be a place where people find welcome.

A simple script for dinner or bedtime:

“Hey, God has been really good to our family: our food, our home, our time together. I’ve been thinking about a king in the Bible who invited someone to eat at his table every day, just to be kind. Who do you think we could invite to sit at ours this week?”

Afterward, ask: “What did you notice about how it felt to make room for someone?”

Notes: If your kids are with you only part of the week, do it on your days. If hosting isn’t realistic, invite someone to a park, a pizza place, or a ballgame. If you’re inviting someone else’s child, let their parent know and keep it in the open. And if no one comes to mind, ask God to show you someone this week, then pay attention.

🙏 Closing Prayer

Father, thank You for every good thing You’ve put in our hands: our families, our work, our health, and the people You’ve given us to love. Forgive us for the times we’ve treated Your blessings like muffins on our own counter and eaten what was meant for someone else. Teach us to be stewards instead of consumers, and open our eyes this week to the person You want us to show kindness to. Thank You that we didn’t earn our seat at Your table, and that Jesus carried us there and called us Your sons. Give us the courage to say “Don’t be afraid” to our kids, and the willingness to make room for others at our tables. May the Lord bless every dad in this room, protect his family, and make his home a place where blessing flows out to everyone who walks through the door. In Jesus’ name, amen.

🛠 Leader Notes

Key themes to emphasize:

  • Blessings are meant to flow through us, not stop with us.
  • Steward vs. consumer: the shift from “How can I use this?” to “What does the Owner want done with this?”
  • Willingness over means: you don’t need to be in the palace to show kindness.
  • Grace first: we serve because we’ve already been welcomed to the table, not to earn a seat.

What to watch for (emotional landmines):

  • Dads who feel they don’t have much to give. Job loss, tight finances, divorce, or custody struggles can make “stewarding your blessings” feel like a guilt trip. Keep pointing back to the small things and to the idea that kindness is about willingness.
  • Shame and “dead dog” labels. Question 8 may surface deep feelings about failure, divorce, or absence. Slow down, don’t rush to fix, and be willing to talk privately afterward.
  • Fatherless wounds. Mephibosheth’s story may stir up memories for men who grew up without a dad or with a painful one. Some may be carrying their own “dropped as a child” story.
  • Works-righteousness drift. Watch for the conversation turning into “I need to do more to be a good Christian.” Bring it back: we serve from the table, not for it.
  • Giving pressure. Keep the focus on time, attention, kindness, and hospitality. Don’t turn this into a money conversation unless a dad brings it up himself.
  • The gospel invitation. Pastor Josh invited anyone who felt far from God to take a first step. Leave a moment at the end for any man who wants to talk or pray about that.

Timing guide (about 75 minutes):

  • Welcome + Icebreaker: 10 min
  • Sermon Context + Key Points (read or paraphrase): 15 min
  • Discussion Questions: 25 min (about 6 min on the Opening the Text questions, 19 min on Dad Life)
  • Key Takeaways + Practical Applications (pair share): 15 min
  • Dad Challenge + Closing Prayer: 10 min
  • If you’re short on time, pick 5–6 questions: Q1, Q3, Q4, Q6, Q7, Q8.

Remember: God doesn’t require perfect dads — He uses faithful ones.

📋 Scripture Reference Table (for print)

ScriptureBible.com Link (NLT)
2 Samuel 5:12https://www.bible.com/bible/116/2SA.5.12.NLT
2 Samuel 9:1https://www.bible.com/bible/116/2SA.9.1.NLT
2 Samuel 9:7https://www.bible.com/bible/116/2SA.9.7.NLT
2 Samuel 9:8https://www.bible.com/bible/116/2SA.9.8.NLT
2 Samuel 9:11https://www.bible.com/bible/116/2SA.9.11.NLT
1 Samuel 20:14–15https://www.bible.com/bible/116/1SA.20.14.NLT
Genesis 12:2https://www.bible.com/bible/116/GEN.12.2.NLT
1 Peter 4:10https://www.bible.com/bible/116/1PE.4.10.NLT
John 3:16https://www.bible.com/bible/116/JHN.3.16.NLT

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